Developing Story: L.A. Astronomers speculate California perhaps NOT center of universe, results still inconclusive

    LOS ANGELES, CA - Local astronomers were baffled to stumble upon evidence that seems to indicate that California may not be the center of the known universe, but may revolve around a mysterious glowing mass.  In fact, it seems that the indicated mass may itself revolve around an even LARGER mass, still yet unidentified.
     "Nawwwwww," said one of the astronomers, when asked his professional opinion, "nawww it's probably not true, I mean, do you know how many different kinds of high-end coffee shops we have here? I mean, come on!"